Blazing a path to enlightenment, world peace, dependable government, and whatnot.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Stevie Joe Says "What?"
Apparently, some TV station was broadcasting live footage of the WTC for no reason (since there had not yet been any attack), and President Numbnuts accidentally happened to see the first plane hit it. Wow.
So, who the heck is Stevie Joe? Well, for starters, I’m a damn genius, but I was not always so. I was born poor and stupid in Junebug Holler, a place so small that nobody has ever heard of it before (and we like it that way). Seeking to correct this stupidity, I embarked on a rigorous course of education.
I’ve read the Great Books and studied the world’s cultures and religions. I immersed myself in the sciences and followed history’s greatest thinkers. I took employment with a large Multi-National Corporation (MNC) so they would pay for me to travel the world and see how others lived first-hand.
I have objective proof of my mental prowess. I scored a perfect 20 out of 20 questions on the Reader’s Digest IQ test. Technically, their scoring guide said that I got one question wrong. You decide. It asked what Aristotle, Shakespeare, Locke, Voltaire, Poe, and Nietzsche all had in common. I answered that they all had an “e” in their names.
So, anyway, I’m willing to share my gift with humanity, and I offer this here blog as a vessel to carry my wisdom to the world.
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