Regular readers know that Stevie Joe is an expert in many fields, and fashion is no exception. You may not be aware that the current hot men's accessory is the bracelet (no, not the man-bag, but Stevie Joe has one of those, too). Gone are the shiny ID bracelets of the 70s. What's hip today is the earthy look of leather, twine, and hemp.
Stevie Joe ordered four examples from major labels (as worn by the stars on several popular television shows - David Duchovny, I'm talking about you). Let me tell you right now that while these might be fashionable, the designers don't know squat about practicality.
Bracelet #1, a leather cuff, has no discernible method of securing it to your wrist. It will stay on for a bit, but soon enough, it will fall right off.
Bracelet #2 slips over your hand and then cinches down to fit your wrist. Trouble is, it doesn't stay cinched. Eventually, it is flopping around as you search the parking lot at the Piggly Wiggly for bracelet #1.
Bracelets #3 and #4 have clasping mechanisms that work but are difficult to open and close. #4 has a very traditional clasp. However, it is so small that only small children, miniature space aliens, or hobbits can operate it.
Let this serve as a warning, however, for all the well-dressed hombres out there. Keep an eye out for shoddy clasps or be prepared to rig up a paper clip substitute like Stevie Joe did.
Voguing for all you sinners,
Stevie Joe Parker