So, this morning down at the Junebug Cafe, the gathered citizenry decided that yesterday's post on Bubba Clinton's new book was the most boring ever. Now, saving the world is not always going to be fun and games, guys. Sometimes, the grownups have serious business to do.
I believe the real reason for the dissent is the desire for this here blog to carry more local gossip. That's fun, but it doesn't always advance democracy. Over New Year's Eve there was an interesting story here in town that folks want to see me delve into. However, I am not going to be identifying any participants, assuming for the moment that I know who they are, out of concern for their safety and well-being.
Come the morning of January 1, the groggy citizens of this burg found evidence of certain drunken excesses the night before. Someone had apparently gone through town with some white shoe polish and proceeded to vandalize store, car, and home windows with various graffiti. Much of it, as you might imagine, was vulgar. Almost all of it was misspelled. The word "doodyhead" was written across the windshield of Jimmy's Camaro. Now, the offender might have been under the belief that his restraint from the use of profanity would prevent Jimmy from seeking retribution. Well, Jimmy loves that Camaro, and said offender would be wrong.
The most disturbing aspect of this particular crime spree was the frequent and prominent examples of what appears to be nekkid, white butt prints. It would appear that someone coated their own rear end with the shoe polish and proceeded to press ham around town. Dickie Jensen was not available for comment.
Reporting from Junebug Holler, I'm
Stevie Joe Parker