There is a hexagon on Saturn. I kid you not. It is large enough to fit four (FOUR!) planet Earths inside of it, and it has been there at least twenty years. It is a weather pattern that is circulating around Saturn's north pole, and the good folks at NASA have no idea what is causing it. Here are some pictures and NASA's official story.
This serves me right for watching 2001: A Space Odyssey and The X-Files. I'm sleeping with the lights on tonight. Dang!
The truth is out there,
Stevie Joe Parker
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Stevie Joe's Local Entertainment
One of the things that is so great about living in Junebug Holler is that there is free entertainment around every corner. Whether it is Dickie Jensen running nekkid through a party or Junior trying to use the computer over at Prudy's. One of my favorite local acts is Junebug Holler's long-time chief executive, Mayor Barney.
Despite the stories you might hear me tell about our little town, there are some smart folks here. It's just that the smart folks are smart enough to stay out of local politics. They know that being in office is like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer and asking permission to do it again. So, the people who do run for office are not the brightest bulbs in the marquee. A prime example of this phenomenon is Mayor Barney.
That is not to say, however, that Mayor Barney is actually as dumb as he looks. There has been some speculation that he avoids trouble, and prosecution, by hiding behind a veneer of stupidity. All I can say is that if he's acting, he should get a damn Oscar®.
The other day I ran into Mayor Barney down at "Mudslide Estates." This is what I like to call the small collection of residential lots that he's been trying to sell. They overlook a ravine created by the drainage tile from the farm across the street. Water runs off the farm, through Mayor Barney's property, and down to the creek. The ravine gets bigger by the year, hence the name.
During my recent visit, I happened to notice a large PVC pipe down in the bottom of that ravine, and Mayor Barney was in the process of covering it up with truckloads of dirt. It seems that he was filling in that ravine and moving the drainage problem to the next property owner down the line.
Knowing Mayor Barney, it is a sure bet that this will end in disaster. Years ago, I was foolish enough to try to talk sense into folks so they can avoid problems like this. I've since grown wiser and learned that it's best just to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. I'll let you know how it goes.
Your reporter on the scene,
Stevie Joe Parker
Despite the stories you might hear me tell about our little town, there are some smart folks here. It's just that the smart folks are smart enough to stay out of local politics. They know that being in office is like hitting yourself in the head with a hammer and asking permission to do it again. So, the people who do run for office are not the brightest bulbs in the marquee. A prime example of this phenomenon is Mayor Barney.
That is not to say, however, that Mayor Barney is actually as dumb as he looks. There has been some speculation that he avoids trouble, and prosecution, by hiding behind a veneer of stupidity. All I can say is that if he's acting, he should get a damn Oscar®.
The other day I ran into Mayor Barney down at "Mudslide Estates." This is what I like to call the small collection of residential lots that he's been trying to sell. They overlook a ravine created by the drainage tile from the farm across the street. Water runs off the farm, through Mayor Barney's property, and down to the creek. The ravine gets bigger by the year, hence the name.
During my recent visit, I happened to notice a large PVC pipe down in the bottom of that ravine, and Mayor Barney was in the process of covering it up with truckloads of dirt. It seems that he was filling in that ravine and moving the drainage problem to the next property owner down the line.
Knowing Mayor Barney, it is a sure bet that this will end in disaster. Years ago, I was foolish enough to try to talk sense into folks so they can avoid problems like this. I've since grown wiser and learned that it's best just to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. I'll let you know how it goes.
Your reporter on the scene,
Stevie Joe Parker
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Stevie Joe and the Anti-Peaceniks
Sometimes I hear something so dumb that it stops me cold. Today, I was listening to the National Public Radio. Now, there are no NPR stations in the greater Junebug Holler metropolitan area. So, I have to listen on the internet. It's just as well because had I heard this on the car radio, I might have driven the Big Blue Wagon right off the road.
The story started innocently enough. It was about a small group of folks in Fairmont, Minnesota who belong to a Peace Club and how they who encouraged their city council to support a proposed federal Department of Peace.
As one club member put it, "I didn't think it was controversial. I thought everybody wanted peace." The city council agreed, voted to support the measure, and then all hell broke lose.
Local Vietnam vet Jerome Kortuem seemed to sum up the feeling of all those opposed. "I just couldn't believe it," Kortuem said. "These communists are trying to do it again."
Well, there you go. Peace equals communism. You can't argue with that logic. Anyway, you can read about the story and hear it as broadcast here. If you listen to the whole thing, what is surprising is the anger being expressed. It's hard to figure why peace would get folks so riled up, but it does.
I'm going to have to go ahead and play the "Jeebus" card here. I assume that most of these folks count themselves as good Christians, but maybe they have never heard him referred to as the "Prince of Peace." Maybe they never heard the expression "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." Well, I could go on and on (and I often do), but I assume you get the point.
Now, here's what I figure. These folks identify themselves as being Americans. They associate themselves with all that America stands for, and one of the things that America stands for is strength. Having a Department of Peace sends the message that America might be willing to talk and to understand in addition to being willing to fight. A lot of folks don't want to see themselves that way. People who talk their way through conflict are weak, right? Or as Mr. Korteum put it, if we create a Department of Peace, we will become "a bunch of wusses."
So, maybe all this opposition to peace is really the result of a lack of self-esteem. Some folks just feel better thinking of themselves as fighters. I wouldn't know about that myself as I do not have a self-esteem problem. It is one of the benefits of being a damn genius. I enjoy the prospect of talking my way through conflict as my intelligence almost always gives me the upper hand. However, I can see where Mr. Korteum wouldn't want to engage in a battle of wits.
Peace,
Stevie Joe Parker
The story started innocently enough. It was about a small group of folks in Fairmont, Minnesota who belong to a Peace Club and how they who encouraged their city council to support a proposed federal Department of Peace.
As one club member put it, "I didn't think it was controversial. I thought everybody wanted peace." The city council agreed, voted to support the measure, and then all hell broke lose.
Local Vietnam vet Jerome Kortuem seemed to sum up the feeling of all those opposed. "I just couldn't believe it," Kortuem said. "These communists are trying to do it again."
Well, there you go. Peace equals communism. You can't argue with that logic. Anyway, you can read about the story and hear it as broadcast here. If you listen to the whole thing, what is surprising is the anger being expressed. It's hard to figure why peace would get folks so riled up, but it does.
I'm going to have to go ahead and play the "Jeebus" card here. I assume that most of these folks count themselves as good Christians, but maybe they have never heard him referred to as the "Prince of Peace." Maybe they never heard the expression "Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God." Well, I could go on and on (and I often do), but I assume you get the point.
Now, here's what I figure. These folks identify themselves as being Americans. They associate themselves with all that America stands for, and one of the things that America stands for is strength. Having a Department of Peace sends the message that America might be willing to talk and to understand in addition to being willing to fight. A lot of folks don't want to see themselves that way. People who talk their way through conflict are weak, right? Or as Mr. Korteum put it, if we create a Department of Peace, we will become "a bunch of wusses."
So, maybe all this opposition to peace is really the result of a lack of self-esteem. Some folks just feel better thinking of themselves as fighters. I wouldn't know about that myself as I do not have a self-esteem problem. It is one of the benefits of being a damn genius. I enjoy the prospect of talking my way through conflict as my intelligence almost always gives me the upper hand. However, I can see where Mr. Korteum wouldn't want to engage in a battle of wits.
Peace,
Stevie Joe Parker
Stevie Joe Ponders New Orleans
Way, way back in the prehistoric era before there was a Mrs. Stevie Joe, New Orleans was a popular destination for Junior and me. We'd head down for a weekend, maybe more. Often short of cash, we found the cheapest places to eat and drink. That's a hard thing to do in such a tourist mecca, but we learned to follow the locals to find the best cheap grub.
On one particular trip, however, we decided to see how the other half ate. We saved up our nickels and went on over to Arnaud's, the classic creole eatery. Not sure of what to eat in such an establishment, we figure we ought to just go native and order up some crawdads. These particular crawdads were served inside of some sort of pastry shell and filled with all sorts of good stuff. Let me tell you, it was good.
When we got back to Junebug Holler, Junior would just not shut up about those crawdads at Arnaud's. He wanted more than anything to have them again, but, lacking the proper resources, it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. So, he figured he could make up a batch himself. He went on down to the creek and came back with a bucket full of crawdads. They're not too hard to catch with your hands once you learn the proper technique.
He brought them over to my house asked me how to peel them. I was a bit confused because it's not all that hard, even for Junior. I started to explain, but he interrupted to tell me that they were still alive. What he wanted to know was how to kill them.
When boiling crawdads, I figured that you just tossed them in the water and let the temperature do the dirty work. However, since Junior was going to bake them, he'd have to peel them first - hence the quandary. Not hearing a quick solution from me, he just said "never mind" and headed on home with his bucket of still squirming crawdads. I later learned that he bopped them all on the head with a hammer.
Junior went and bought one of those ready-made pie crusts from the Piggly Wiggly to bake the crawdads in. He figured that would be pretty darned close to what Arnaud's did. He wasn't sure about the other ingredients and spices. So, he just tossed in some tater tots (I kid you not) and Tabasco.
As you might imagine, Crawdads à la Junior was a complete failure. The pie crust that he bought was a graham cracker crust, and the flavors didn't quite mesh. I guess we should go back on down to Arnaud's someday and see of we can still get some of their crawdad pie. Junior would be pleased as can be.
Aaaaiiiiieeee!
Stevie Joe Parker
On one particular trip, however, we decided to see how the other half ate. We saved up our nickels and went on over to Arnaud's, the classic creole eatery. Not sure of what to eat in such an establishment, we figure we ought to just go native and order up some crawdads. These particular crawdads were served inside of some sort of pastry shell and filled with all sorts of good stuff. Let me tell you, it was good.
When we got back to Junebug Holler, Junior would just not shut up about those crawdads at Arnaud's. He wanted more than anything to have them again, but, lacking the proper resources, it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. So, he figured he could make up a batch himself. He went on down to the creek and came back with a bucket full of crawdads. They're not too hard to catch with your hands once you learn the proper technique.
He brought them over to my house asked me how to peel them. I was a bit confused because it's not all that hard, even for Junior. I started to explain, but he interrupted to tell me that they were still alive. What he wanted to know was how to kill them.
When boiling crawdads, I figured that you just tossed them in the water and let the temperature do the dirty work. However, since Junior was going to bake them, he'd have to peel them first - hence the quandary. Not hearing a quick solution from me, he just said "never mind" and headed on home with his bucket of still squirming crawdads. I later learned that he bopped them all on the head with a hammer.
Junior went and bought one of those ready-made pie crusts from the Piggly Wiggly to bake the crawdads in. He figured that would be pretty darned close to what Arnaud's did. He wasn't sure about the other ingredients and spices. So, he just tossed in some tater tots (I kid you not) and Tabasco.
As you might imagine, Crawdads à la Junior was a complete failure. The pie crust that he bought was a graham cracker crust, and the flavors didn't quite mesh. I guess we should go back on down to Arnaud's someday and see of we can still get some of their crawdad pie. Junior would be pleased as can be.
Aaaaiiiiieeee!
Stevie Joe Parker
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Stevie Joe and the Gang Talk Katrina
This morning down at the Junebug Cafe and Inernet Lounge, the assembled citizenry attempted to mend the fences from Tuesday's political roundtable. We searched for some common ground - something we all agreed upon. It was tough, but then Juanita mentioned Hurricane Katrina.
See, folks around here have lots of friends and kin who were hit by the hurricane and are still suffering the aftermath today. This tends to get us riled up, and even Dickie Jensen has to hang his head with disgust when the topic is raised. So, I sat down at Prudy's computer and searched around for some Katrina-related sites and found this video on YouTube.
It was made by a 16-year-old activist from Alabama named Ava Lowery. Ava runs a website called peacetakescourage.com that tackles a number of political issues. YouTube has lots of videos that she has produced, mostly about the Iraq war. Anyway, this video seemed to sum up how us folks down in Junebug Holler feel about Hurricane Katrina.
Respectfully yours,
Stevie Joe Parker
See, folks around here have lots of friends and kin who were hit by the hurricane and are still suffering the aftermath today. This tends to get us riled up, and even Dickie Jensen has to hang his head with disgust when the topic is raised. So, I sat down at Prudy's computer and searched around for some Katrina-related sites and found this video on YouTube.
It was made by a 16-year-old activist from Alabama named Ava Lowery. Ava runs a website called peacetakescourage.com that tackles a number of political issues. YouTube has lots of videos that she has produced, mostly about the Iraq war. Anyway, this video seemed to sum up how us folks down in Junebug Holler feel about Hurricane Katrina.
Respectfully yours,
Stevie Joe Parker
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Gitmo Detainee Confesses to Kennedy Assassination
by Stevie Joe Parker
Special Correspondent
JUNEBUG HOLLER - A detainee portrayed as an al-Qaida operative and a member of a terrorist family confessed to shooting President Kennedy in November 1963, according to a Pentagon transcript of a Guantanamo Bay hearing. The detainee, known as Abu Fayed according to Defense Department records, also admitted involvement in the killing of Paul McCartney, Princess Diana, Huey Long, Vince Foster, Archduke Francis Ferdinand, the surviving grey alien from the Roswell crash of 1954, and Tupac Shakur.
Investigators from the CIA also testified that classified intelligence suggests that, in addition to al-Qaida, Fayed holds membership in the Freemasons, the Trilateral Commission, and the American Civil Liberties Union. According to the official hearing transcript, when asked if any portion of his statement was coerced, Fayed replied, "xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx."
Special Correspondent
JUNEBUG HOLLER - A detainee portrayed as an al-Qaida operative and a member of a terrorist family confessed to shooting President Kennedy in November 1963, according to a Pentagon transcript of a Guantanamo Bay hearing. The detainee, known as Abu Fayed according to Defense Department records, also admitted involvement in the killing of Paul McCartney, Princess Diana, Huey Long, Vince Foster, Archduke Francis Ferdinand, the surviving grey alien from the Roswell crash of 1954, and Tupac Shakur.
Investigators from the CIA also testified that classified intelligence suggests that, in addition to al-Qaida, Fayed holds membership in the Freemasons, the Trilateral Commission, and the American Civil Liberties Union. According to the official hearing transcript, when asked if any portion of his statement was coerced, Fayed replied, "xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx."
Stevie Joe, Jack Bauer, and Dave Barry
If you enjoy the television series 24 and the writing of Dave Barry, then you are going to love the 24 section of Dave's blog. Each week, Dave provides a recap of where the story is up to that point, and then he offers a live commentary as that week's episode airs. As you might imagine, it's pretty damn funny. I once again shot PBR out of my nose. Check it out (the blog, not my nose)!
We're running out of time!
Stevie Joe Parker
We're running out of time!
Stevie Joe Parker
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Stumble It!