Still Sunday, November 4, 2007 – Part 3
I knew that if I wanted to discover the identity of Fanny’s mystery guest, I was going to have to get myself inside of the Home in the Holler Bed and Breakfast. While I suppose that as a lodging establishment that it is indeed a public place, Fanny would be under no obligation to let me in. She has been known to lock the front door upon seeing me coming up her walk, especially if Junior was with me. That Fanny can be more than a bit moody.
After church and the resulting coffee hour, I was sitting on the front stoop pondering a plan to gain entrance to Fanny’s place. It was just then that I saw Junior’s dog, Junior Junior, trotting down the sidewalk with Junior’s Sunday trousers in his mouth. The thought of a trouser-less Junior wreaking havoc on the fine citizenry of Junebug Holler on such a lovely Sunday afternoon was frightening indeed. Suddenly, the mystery of Fanny’s guest took a backseat to the mystery of Junior’s trousers. Given his history, any number of events could have resulted in the loss of britches. However, most of these events involve alcohol, and Junior had seemed sober enough at the recent coffee hour. Not even Junior could get plastered that quickly on a Sunday afternoon.
Dickie Jensen, on the other hand, can down a few shots and be running nekkid through town screaming at the top of his lungs within minutes. Sometimes, he doesn’t even need the alcohol. His streaking and hollering are often precipitated by nothing more than an especially inflammatory edition of the O’Reilly Factor.
As I sat in deep concentration attempting to solve the riddle of Junior’s trousers, Dickie himself came running down the street carrying a fire extinguisher high above his head. He was hollering as usual, but I couldn’t understand a word of it. It was quite possible that he was speaking in tongues.
Damn! This is one helluva fun place to live,
Stevie Joe Parker