Sunday, January 21, 2007

Stevie Joe Uses the Socratic Method

I strongly encourage comments from readers of the Stevie Joe Parker’s Guide to Life Blog. This allows me to engage in what smart folks call the “Socratic Method.” This dates back to Plato (no relation to Play-Doh®). Plato wrote a series of famous dialogs featuring his teacher and mentor, Socrates. Socrates would teach his students through discussion. He would ask them a series of questions that would lead them to the answers that they sought. Pretty clever dude, that Socrates.

I recently used the Socratic Method to help my poor old friend Junior. Junior had just returned from the hospital after losing a finger in the snowblower. As you might imagine, he was a bit perturbed.

JUNIOR: Damn snowblower! I oughta sue!

STEVIE JOE: Oh? Do you feel that the snowblower is unnecessarily dangerous?

JUNIOR: Damn right.

STEVIE JOE: Did you put your hand into a spinning impeller?

JUNIOR: No, I did not. A stick was jammed in there, and nothing was moving.

STEVIE JOE: Was the engine running when you removed the stick?

JUNIOR: Yes.

STEVIE JOE: Did removing the stick cause the impeller to begin spinning again?

JUNIOR: Well, yeah.

STEVIE JOE: Were you drunk at the time?

JUNIOR: It's possible.

STEVIE JOE: Were you in your own driveway?

JUNIOR: No.

STEVIE JOE: Whose driveway was it?

JUNIOR: Juanita’s.

STEVIE JOE: Did you have any legitimate reason to be snowblowing her driveway?

JUNIOR: Not exactly.

STEVIE JOE: Is she your girlfriend?

JUNIOR: No.

STEVIE JOE: Is she anyone’s girlfriend?

JUNIOR: She’s Jimmy’s girlfriend.

STEVIE JOE: And what happened the last time Jimmy caught you messing around Juanita’s place?

JUNIOR: He punched me in the nose.

STEVIE JOE: And what did he do this time?

JUNIOR: He punched me in the nose, but then he drove me to the hospital.

STEVIE JOE: So, in retrospect, do you think that you made the best decisions tonight?

JUNIOR: Well, maybe not.

Another student of Stevie Joe’s sees the light.

Yours truly,
Stevie Joe Parker

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