Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Stevie Joe Watches the State of the Union Address

Last night, about half of Junebug Holler came over to the Stevie Joe estate to watch the President's State of the Union Address and the Democratic Response. Now, most of these folks were somehow under the impression that they had been invited over to watch the Ultimate Fighting Championship on the pay-per-view. I'm not sure how that happened, but the point was moot. Once the crowd figured out that the dude in the suit behind the podium was not Chuck Liddell, current UFC Light Heavyweight champ, they were well into the beer. It was a bit confusing, I admit, because Senator Trent Lott (R-MS) actually did fight in the UFC (nickname - "The Hippie from Mississippi").

Anyway, the gang had a dilemma. Do they stay and watch the politicians jabber, or do they leave and miss out on the free beer and my patented bologna salad sandwiches? As you might expect, the beer won out. I give them credit for actually paying attention to what was being said on the television. I know it was difficult, but they enjoyed it when they discovered that they could hoot and holler just like when watching football or women's golf.

When it was all over, they were drunk and disillusioned by the political process. This was to be expected seeing as how our President is as dumb as a box of hammers (and the rest of them aren't much better). Even Junior was disgusted. It was then that I saw my opportunity to enlighten the masses. I got up from the davenport and quoted Walt Whitman:

It is the fashion among dilettantes and fops (perhaps I myself am not guiltless) . . . to decry the whole formulation of the active politics of America, as beyond redemption, and so to be carefully kept away from. See you do not fall into this error. America, it may be, is doing very well upon the whole, notwithstanding these antics of the parties and their leaders, these half-brain'd nominees, the many ignorant ballots, and many elected failures and blatherers. It is the dilettantes, and all who shirk their duty, who are not doing well. As for you, I advise you to enter more strongly yet into politics . . . Always inform yourself; always do the best you can; always vote . . .

At this point the fine citizens of Junebug Holler threatened physical violence if I did not shut up, Walt Whitman or no. In the interest of my own well-being, I handed over the clicker so the amassed mob could watch the pay-per-view porn.

A little bit at a time, my friends.

Keep the faith,
Stevie Joe Parker

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