Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Stevie Joe Celebrates Memorial Day

We had quite the Memorial Day Weekend here in Junebug Holler despite the absence of Junior. Ever since Junior stole and wrecked Jimmy's motorcycle, he's been hiding in his "undisclosed location." Good thing, too, because Jimmy is still sore about that and will likely beat Junior good when he finds him.

Anyway, there was much excitement, and most of it came when Dickie Jensen set Jimmy on fire. As you might expect, Dickie was drunk, but he was not yet nekkid. In honor of our veterans, Dickie was wearing a camouflage Speedo with a 101st Airborne patch right over his package. He thought that it might be fun to spray lighter fluid from his mouth and set it aflame with his Bic. Where could such a plan go wrong?

Well, Jimmy was the long-haired biker type, but not anymore. He made the grave mistake of getting too close to Dickie (a risk under any circumstance), and Dickie went ahead and set his hair on fire. Fortunately, the gathered crowd was armed with large quantities of beer and was able to quickly douse the flames. In the confusion, Dickie escaped and has presumably joined Junior in his undisclosed location.

Jimmy, as you might expect, was hopping mad. It has not been a good week for him, but this is part of life here in Junebug Holler. You have to expect these occasional setbacks. Besides, what's the alternative? Boredom, that's what. Give me drunken excitement any day (easy to say for a guy with all his hair).

Pardon me, got a light?
Stevie Joe Parker

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