I learned today that the events that led to Junior crashing Jimmy's motorcycle at Mayor Barney's Mudslide Estates began Saturday evening at the Maple Leaf. The Maple Leaf is a local tavern that is decorated with all sorts of hockey memorabilia and Canadian flags. Everyone in town assumed that Scooter Thompson, owner of the Maple Leaf, was either from Canada and/or a rabid hockey fan. However, I asked Scooter about that once, and he denied it. He claims that the bar was decorated that way when he bought it. However, I know for a fact that the previous owner was a mean old cajun from Lake Charles, Louisiana. So, it all remains a mystery.
Anyway, Junior was drinking at the Maple Leaf on Saturday night, and he already had a few beers in him. He spotted Juanita over by the jukebox and went over to talk to her. In the version of the story that I heard, Junior said to Juanita, "Do you have a keg in your pants because I'd like to tap that ass." Junior claims no recollection of such a remark.
Well, whatever he said, it ticked off Jimmy who just happened to be standing behind Junior when he said it. As you might recall, Juanita is the love of Jimmy's life. Jimmy is a simple man. He doesn't say much, and he doesn't ask for much. Most things are just fine with Jimmy, but don't go messing with Juanita.
As you can imagine, this created a little situation which Jimmy decided to address by punching Junior in the ear. Now, Junior is no fighter. So, he figured that his best line of defense would be to scream like a little girl and fake a traumatic injury. Jimmy, disgusted at Junior's complete lack of pride, momentarily hesitated. It was long enough for Junior to make a break for the door. Once outside, he kept running and screaming all the way across town.
You would think that would be the end of it, but Junior had other plans. As usual, these plans would wind up biting him in the ass. Junior was so mad at Jimmy for punching him in the ear that he decided to make off with the other love of Jimmy's life, his motorcycle. Of course, Junior doesn't know how to ride a motorcycle, but why would that stop him? You know the rest.
Don't mess around with Jim,
Stevie Joe Parker