Monday, March 5, 2007

Stevie Joe Laughs and Cries

It's been a long time since I laughed hard enough for PBR to shoot out of my nose, but that's just what happened last night. Dickie Jensen stopped by wanting to use my computer to surf the internet. Everyone in Junebug Holler knows that Dickie is a right-winger - a good, old conservative. That's fine by me and most folks here. We all get along despite any political differences. Besides, if Dickie ticks me off enough, I'll just push him down in the snow again.

Dickie was upset about something or other in the "liberal media" and wanted to get online to "get to the truth." So, I helped him search around for conservative websites, and it wasn't long before we found Conservapedia. This is an online encyclopedia for conservatives because, apparently, Wikipedia is a part of the vast liberal conspiracy that includes the media, the arts, science, education, the Dewey Decimal System, and reading. The folks at Conservapedia claim that Wikipedia " is increasingly anti-Christian and anti-American." Isn't it interesting that these folks equate being liberal with being anti-Christian and anti-American?

Dickie was intrigued, and so was I. So, we took a look around. That's when I shot the PBR through my nose. We found the entry for gravity and saw that the Conservapedia folks are not entirely sure that it exists. They state, "The considerable disagreement between scientists about the theory of gravity suggests that, like evolution, the theory will eventually be replaced with a model which acknowledges God as the source of all things, the Prime Mover, and the only real fundamental force in the universe." This sounds suspiciously like this story from The Onion.

Under the entry for Fox News (which oddly doesn't capitalize the "N" in "News"), we learn that "the success of Fox news over every other news channel is because it is fair and balanced," and that "the White House selected Tony Snow from Fox News to be the new White House press secretary which was a great honor for Fox because it showed how well it was presenting the real truth instead of the fake liberal version."

The entry for Iraq is 13 words long: "A Middle-Eastern country, invaded in 2003 and currently occupied by a U.S.-led coalition." It has no sources or links. By contrast, the Wikipedia entry for Iraq is nearly 5,000 words long and includes 14 reference sources, 7 suggested reading items, and 28 external links. So, if Dickie wanted to write a paper about Iraq, which source do you think he'd want to use?

I thought about this a while, and it became a bit less funny to me. There are a number of folks who are going to find this site and think what they read there is the truth. Of course, we all know that the truth is primarily found right here at Stevie Joe Parker's Guide to Life. Let's try to set them straight.

Meanwhile, Dickie went home to pray to God that he doesn't float off of the planet.

Say "Amen!"
Stevie Joe Parker

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