Thursday, March 1, 2007

Stevie Joe's Health Crisis Passes

I apologize for not posting in several days. I have been sick. I mean really sick. At first, I thought it was just a hangover. Junior came over to the house Monday night wanting to drink. Who was I to refuse? It would have been downright impolite. We made Rusty Nails and Stingers. These are fun drinks. Scotch, Drambuie, Brandy, and white Creme de Menthe. No need for any sodi-pop or juice to water 'em down.

I woke up Tuesday morning feeling just awful. I had a headache, my stomach was churning, and my whole body was sore. Of course, it was reasonable to assume that it was all the booze that caused my condition. Yet, I didn't get any better as the day wore on. I received no sympathy from Mrs. Stevie Joe. She just looked at me with a skeptical eye and said, "Fine, sit on your lazy ass all day then."

Mrs. Stevie Joe believes that any illness I claim to have is just a ruse to get out of doing chores. If I claim to be in pain, she rolls her eyes and says, "Try delivering a baby sometime!" Talk about a ruse! I wouldn't put it past women to conspire to exaggerate the pain of childbirth just so they can lord it over us!

Junior stopped by and brought me some Pepto-Bismol. He hung out at the house for three days while I hid under blankets on the davenport. Someone more cynical than me would suggest that Junior just came to watch pay-per-view movies on the big screen, but not me. I make fun of Junior all the time, but I tell you what - he's loyal. He's my friend and a damn good one.

Feelin' better,
Stevie Joe Parker

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