This morning at the Junebug Cafe and Internet Lounge, we had our first official political discussion group. As expected, it was an interesting affair. Dickie Jensen started it off by asking Prudy if any illegal aliens were involved in the production of his Denver omelet. Prudy nearly hit him with the coffeepot and then explained that she was the only damned person who made the eggs at the cafe and hell if she was illegal.
Hearing the word "aliens," Junior jumped in and said that there was an on-going government conspiracy to cover up the existence of aliens on Earth and that a small group of folks were colluding with said aliens to plan for a large-scale invasion and colonization. Only two lowly FBI agents were fighting the dastardly plot and attempting to uncover the truth. I explained to Junior that he was describing The X-Files and that he had to start looking at some different websites.
Juanita wondered if Hillary Clinton could select her husband Bubba to be her running mate and then immediately resign if elected so Bubba could be president again. I told her I like the way she thinks and that this was a sure-fire plan to get folks to vote for Hillary.
I asked folks whether they thought that Bush should ask Attorney General Alberto Gonzales to resign. Dickie said only if he couldn't produce his green card. This, of course, prompted me to call him a "moron." However, the gang was against me. When I asked them to suggest a replacement for Gonzales should he resign, they all said Dickie.
According to the assembled citizenry, Dickie was ideal for several reasons. First, he's a Bushie through and through thus securing the president's trust. Second, he has completed two years at the junior college. Of course, any further schooling only serves to turn you into part of the liberal intellectual elite. This argument conveniently ignores the fact that Dick "Dick" Cheney completed all but the dissertation of his doctoral degree at the liberal stronghold of the University of Wisconsin at Madison. Third, Dickie is all in favor of torturing "whoever needs it." Fourth, he has no idea what "habeas corpus" means.
My argument that the Attorney General should actually be an attorney fell on deaf ears. Junior summed up everyone's feelings when he said, "That's all we need - more damn lawyers!"
And these folks get to vote,
Stevie Joe Parker