Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Stevie Joe and the Coffee Controversy

I went back over to the Junebug Cafe this afternoon when the crowd of regulars was gone. Prudence filled me in on the details of the morning's ruckus. Yes, it was true that the assembled mob was yelling all about Stevie Joe Parker's Guide to Life and my discourse on quantum physics in particular. However, that was not what they were mad about. Screeching about the blog and calling me a "snob" was just their way of lashing out at me. The real source of their anger was coffee.

Unbeknownst to me, a certain lady called on the Junebug Cafe on Monday while the whole gang was present. This lady was a representative from a coffee distributor, and she came to sell Prudy some coffee. It just so happens that this lady dropped by on account of old Stevie Joe. In some of my travels outside of the Greater Junebug Holler Metropolitan Area, I have become acquainted with a number of different folks. I met the coffee lady several months back and suggested that she drop by the cafe and talk to Prudy.

The lady sold mostly fair-trade organic coffee, and it's pretty good. Prudy's coffee is not bad, but it ain't exactly gourmet. Plus, I'm all in favor of that fair-trade organical-type stuff. So, it seemed like a good match.

Well, the coffee lady started out by telling Prudy that she could be making a lot more money on coffee. She said this within earshot of the citizenry who immediately assumed a price increase was on the way. She then spoke of how her gourmet brands were so tasty and would command a premium price.

Well, Dickie Jensen heard this and asked the coffee lady if her coffee had flavor crystals. His coffee at home had flavor crystals, and, according to Dickie, it was pretty darned good. He wanted to know what kind of "gourmet" coffee didn't have flavor crystals. Of course, the coffee lady didn't know what to say. By this time, the rest of the gang began to panic that their beloved Junebug Cafe was somehow going to change. It was going to get fancy and expensive. It will become overrun with yuppies in foreign cars. There might be a new rule against swearing. It was too much.

Just then, the coffee lady explained that a certain Stevie Joe Parker had encouraged her to come by. Well, that just did it. She might as well have said that I was suggesting replacing the omelets on the menu with snails or something. The whole place went up for grabs.

The coffee lady escaped unharmed, but the mob was unsatisfied. It just so happened that I walked directly into their wrath this morning. Sheesh. For all I do for these folks, you'd think that they would be grateful.

Good to the last thought,
Stevie Joe Parker

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